Living With Anxiety

February 06, 2018

Living With Anxiety

Most people who have anxiety and/or depression can usually hide it fairly well. It's not something we want the world knowing about. This means that we've generally learned how to live with the anxiety, and it IS something that you learn. When my anxiety first became a real problem, hiding it was not something I was capable of. I'm honestly surprised I didn't either get fired or committed during that time. I never got ready. I switched off between over-eating and never eating. I didn't talk much. I certainly didn't spend time with anyone besides Mike. I was so paranoid. I just sat and lived in my head. It was not a good time for me. Even to this day, there are times that my anxiety gets so bad that it's not possible to be normal and that's ok - not all days are going to be good ones.

One thing that I do want to touch on: I agree 100% that mental illness is something that needs to be talked about and we need to make people feel safe when talking about it too. But one thing that I don't want to see happen, is people using their "mental illness" as an excuse. I won't be the judge of who is doing that, but I know there are times that I've done it. Mental illness, if you let it, can destroy you, but it can also make you one tough cookie. We are in charge of how we handle every situation and trial we are handed in life. Mike and I were watching Criminal Minds recently, and it was an episode where a man was torturing people by making them bleed and letting rats eat them alive (graphic, I know - that show is not for the faint of heart). As the agents searched for the man and also discovered why he is the way he is, it came out that his father had beat him and his mother when he was young. Long story short, when Agent Hotchner was interrogating him, it also came out that Agent Hotchner was beat by his father when he was young. He pointed out that in this circumstance, some people will grow up to be abusers themselves, but some will grow up to be the ones who catch those abusers. I loved this. This is true for all of us. I can either let my anxiety run my life, or I can turn it into a tool to help others.

One thing that I've been working on lately, is not saying that I'm a hypochondriac. I've joked that I'm a recovering hypochondriac. I truly believe that every time I told someone that I was a hypochondriac, it solidified that belief in my brain. Instead, I use mantras (don't dis it till you try it) like "I am mentally healthy", "I am stronger than my anxiety", "I am in control here", etc... I've been doing this for a couple months now and I honestly have noticed a difference. My ears perk up a little less when I hear someone talk about throwing up, my panic attacks have become less frequent, and I dwell on my anxiety, as a whole, less.

I can't talk about how I deal with my anxiety without mentioning my religion - it'll be short, I promise. Even if we aren't of the same faith, knowing that there is a higher power out there who loves you and is watching over you, can be extremely calming. I would not survive my weakest moments without knowing God is there to help me.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, here are some things that help me live with my anxiety:

1. Exercise - There is a notable difference when I am working out vs when I am not. For one, most of my anxiety revolves around night time and not being able to fall asleep, and it's been proven that regular exercise can help you sleep at night.

2. Healthier eating - I'm not just gonna say healthy eating because everyone needs to treat themselves occasionally, so I will say healthier eating. The more junk food I'm consuming, the worse my anxiety gets. Your body/mind needs to know that you love it enough to take care of it.

3. Medicine - I've made it known that I use medication to help me and I'm not ashamed of it. I take an anti-depressant every day, and I also have an anti-anxiety medication for when it gets really bad. I would love to answer any questions you have about this, but I would prefer to do it privately, so feel free to email me.

4. Spend less time alone - I know this sounds terrible and I generally agree with you. I have been known to be quite an introvert. I don't want to be like that anymore. When I am with others, laughing, and having fun - my anxiety just kind of shrinks back into a small part of my mind. Human interaction is good for us, despite what our anxiety tells us.

5. Stooooop dwelling on your anxiety/depression - I was soooo bad at this and I still struggle with it sometimes. I want to use it as an excuse for everything, but that is so poisonous for us. We should be working on controlling it and not letting it control us.

6. Talk to someone - I promise that you're not the only one going through this. Unfortunately, this is kind of a world-wide epidemic. If you don't feel comfortable talking to someone close to you (which, if this is the case, I feel sad for you - you need people around you who you can trust and confide in), you can talk to a counselor, or there are many, many people who have put it out to the world that they are willing to listen to anyone who is struggling (I am one of those people).

7. Treat yo self - I am a firm believer in a treat or a little shopping (or whatever makes you happy) to cheer yourself up. Sometimes we get so caught up in life and the stress of adulthood that we forget that we need a little lovin' sometimes. Our mental health is so important and we should never ever neglect it.

8. Write in a notebook/journal - This is good for two reasons: 1- It can help you see if there is something specfic that is triggering you. You can document your surroundings and circumstances and see if you notice something. 2- It is like talking to someone. I've been a journal person since I was very young - I have journals from every year starting when I was eight. I used to think it was foolish that I literally treated my journal like a human being. I would introduce myself to it and everything, but now I realize how much it's been helping me and it's also really cool to re-read my whole life from that perspective.

My lucky number is eight, so that's how many ideas I'm giving you. Like I've said in the past, if you have ANY questions or ideas for posts, please comment them below or email me at daniellee18nh@gmail.com

Again, thank you for following along and I hope you continue to do so. I hope you enjoy this look as well ♥