World Teachers Day

Yesterday was World Teachers Day. I may not be in school and have actual teachers, but there are people all around me each day that teach me things. Even authors in books can be our teachers, and that is what I chose to focus on. I've been reading a book called How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. To say it's changing my life wouldn't express my feelings strong enough. Previously this year, I read the Anatomy of Peace by the Arbinger Institute and I had similar feelings for that book. I highly recommend both books to everyone. The Anatomy of Peace is written a little more like a novel, but neither of these books are technically novels. 

I've been reading How to Win Friends and Influence People for at least four months. It's not that I have a hard time getting into it, but I want to take notes on EVERY part of the book. Since yesterday was World Teachers Day, I made sure to set aside some time to read at least on chapter from this book. The section I read ended up being my favorite chapter so far. Most of my notes that I take while I'm reading are direct quotes from the book, and then I throw in a random thought or two. 

Here are my notes from last nights chapter:

"There is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument--and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes. Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right."

"A man convinced against his will. Is of the same opinion still." -Benjamin Franklin

"If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you still never get your opponents good will. So figure it out for yourself. Which would you rather have, an academic, theatrical victory or a person's good will? You can seldom have both."

Dale Carnegie tells a story about a tax consultant that refuses to budge on an issue, but when he started telling the tax consultant how he admired him instead of just arguing with him, the tax consultant changes his mind. People just want to feel important, whether it be because they;re wielding their power, or because you're praising them.

Dale Carnegie listed these ways to avoid a disagreement: Welcome the disagreement, distrust your first instinctive impression, control your temper, listen first, look for areas of agreement, be honest, promise to think over your opponents ideas and study them carefully (and mean it), thank your opponents sincerely for their interest, postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem.

The main principle of this chapter: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

(Dale Carnegie)

My entire family has a serious arguing problem so this chapter really spoke to me. Why is it ingrained in us to always want to be right? We're willing to burn so many bridges just to prove a point. Dale Carnegie actually tells a personal story about a time that he was trying to prove someone wrong and it was his story of when he realized how unimportant it it to always be right.

 This book has shown me so many things that I need to improve upon. I HIGHLY suggest reading this book. It could probably change your life too.