January 2017

I've heard it said that January is the Monday of the months... This month has definitely made me feel that way. For 2017, I made a goal of writing down the important things that happened each and every day. So far I've done it for every day. Here are some of my bigger January moments:

I actually started this month on a very emotional note. I gave the lesson in Relief Society and I used the talk The Master Healer by Carole M. Stephens. I'm not gonna talk much about this, but if you haven't read this talk, I HIGHLY encourage you to. Nothing has ever touched me like this talk did. 

On a not so positive note, on this night (January 1st), I had, possibly, the worst panic attack I've ever had. I'm not even sure what triggered it. It started when I couldn't sleep and my mind just started racing, and before I knew it... I was spiraling downwards. I wrote in a journal about it the next day and said, "There was a moment that I did not feel in control of my mind." I've gotten similar feelings like that before, but this time was on a whole new level. Luckily, Mike worked through it with me. We stayed up pretty late just talking to take my mind off it, and it actually turned into a really good bonding moment for us. I don't write about this to be negative. I write about it to be real, and to show that, even people who have been dealing with anxiety for a really long time, have weak moments where they feel so out of control and lost. Every time I have a panic attack though, it makes me stronger and I do learn from the experience.

Anyway, I also started the month by deep cleaning my house. I took a couple days off work to just really focus on it. It felt sooo good after I finished, but of course... it only lasted like three days (how does that happen... I don't even have kids).

 One huge factor that made this month rough was all the snow. SO MUCH SNOW! I hate snow. I hate the cold. I hate winter. Those are pretty well-known facts about me. This January we got more snow then I've seen in a long time. There was one week that I swear we got six inches of snow DAILY. The weather was just so gloomy and we never saw the sun. I've heard quite a few people say that January was rough for them, and I wouldn't be surprised if we were all a little Vitamin D deficient. 

Similar Shirt, Similar Scarf, Jeans (literally my favorite pants EVER), Booties

Jeans are same as above (I told you I loved them), Sweater (on a major sale), Similar Shoes

One really positive thing that happened was our stake conference. We had the AMAZING opportunity of having David A. Bednar from the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles come and speak. I'm not even joking when I say, as soon as he walked in the room, the Spirit got so much stronger. I was emotional pretty much the whole meeting (seems to be a common theme). The adult session was my favorite part. He talked a bit about how a lot of LDS members see the church as a check list but that's not how it should be. He mentioned that in Africa, they're doing 30(ish) confirmations every sacrament meeting so they have no time for talks. One of the leaders from that ward asked Bednar if they needed to be having another meeting for talks and such. Elder Bednar told them NO. He said that the only reason we're having talks every Sunday here is because we don't have thirty or so confirmations to be doing. He said that we might see meetings simplified in the next couple years. 

He also talked a lot about missionaries and it put a lot of stuff into perspective, especially with my brothers getting ready to put their papers in. My twin brothers got to go to a session for the youth, and they even got to shake his hand. This was definitely something I'll never forget.

Another positive thing was getting to hang out with my best friend, Chantel. This isn't something that happens very often so I always cherish it. 

As I read through my entries for each day, the biggest stressors this month were two things: our jobs and my anxiety. My anxiety has been really bad this month which has made my sleep also terrible. Then both Mike and I's work schedules have been all over the place. Mike's work helped a lot with the Sundance Film Festival, so we were never quite sure what hours he would be working. My job has had SO many changes this month that I can barely keep track of them all. All of us at work have been crazy busy and just a little over-stressed. I'm not sure that's slowing down much, but we are learning to manage it better. 

On top of these things, Mike's dad had some health problems that made it so they had to come up to the hospitals by our house instead of where they live. Because of that, a lot of Mike's siblings wanted to come up to see their dad and they needed a place to stay... our house. It was definitely a little overwhelming, especially because I was trying to maintain my regular schedule (didn't happen). It was very nice to spend time with my in-laws though. We got to go to dinner with them and just hang out and talk. It's really hard to travel to see them during the winter, so this was a special treat.

Haven't been the best about working out this month. I need to be better. Similar Yoga Pants Live Fit Cut-Off Hoodie

One big thing that has really helped me this month is Sam & Kaela. Sam is Mike's cousin and Kaela is Sam's wife. Sam is also Mike's best friend and has been for almost their whole lives. We've started hanging out with them a little extra this month, and it's been really nice to have a couple to just casually hang out with and completely be yourselves with. We always laugh so much and they're just good for my soul. I doubt either of them even read my blog posts, but I just wanted them to know how grateful Mike and I are for their friendship.

I LOOOOVE February, so here's hoping that this month will be better than the last! ♥♥♥♥♥

So grateful for this guy ♥